so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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