Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
