Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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