YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Im part way to drunk.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
