Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We are all done wearing pants today
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