People with herpes should wear stickers.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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