i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
