Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
