I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize