Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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