are you still at the devil's house?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
