I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
