She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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