she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
