are you still at the devil's house?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
In America we eat man semen.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
