We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
