Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize