You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
