Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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