his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
