The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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