So drunk its hurt
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
