the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
