We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
