Whod you bang
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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