they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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