Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My dick has a subreddit
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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