I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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