I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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