It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
this hospital has no fireball
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
