My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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