I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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