honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Someone signed my nipple.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize