She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
