Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
