so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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