I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
