So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
