next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
