i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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