haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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