TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
