i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
