Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
