But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
