i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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