I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize