Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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