So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
