return my video game
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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