make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize