Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
