she was so not down for the gang bang
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
