he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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