i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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