Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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