Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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