hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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