My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
