Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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